Amanda (gloworm6) wrote in allphobias,
Amanda
gloworm6
allphobias

phobia of intruders/being attacked

Hi everyone, I just joined. I have an issue that has been bothering me for years but has significantly increased in the last few months. I suffer from a very intense, sometimes overwhelming fear of being attacked, particularly in or around my home. I live with 1 roommate in a 2-bedroom apartment. I am constantly checking around corners, down the hallway, in my bathroom, even under the couch, etc for intruders. In fact, my anxiety is rising now just thinking about the possibilities! I have a hard time leaving my apartment, especially at night, when I have to walk through the space between the living room and kitchen and cant see every corner. Out in front of the apartment is just as bad as there are several bushes and other parked cars where anyone could be hiding. More than once I have jumped in my car and sped away like a maniac out of fear. I also get scared often laying in bed at night that someone could be in the room or even standing over me and me not even realize it. Gosh thats scary! I live in a fairly safe, fairly small town and there is little crime, especially of any violent nature. My fear is completely unfounded and I know that, but it's absolutely terrifying. Tonight I walked out to my mailbox, about 50 yards away, and had to control my breathing as to not hyperventilate. It seems to be getting worse recently.

Now, heres my question. I work in the mental health field and have tried to do some reading and self-help things with myself to help this problem, but the phobia things dont really seem on target for me. They often talk about reminding yourself why its completely irrational, which in reality it's not - it doesnt make sense to tell myself to not be careful walking alone, even if the risk is small. They also talk a lot about flooding yourself with the stimuli, but I cant really do that either. Is it possible that this is more of an OCD trait, on the obsession side? I do have some other minor OCD traits. Or would it be a phobia? Because I think it's natural to have some small fear of this - most people just dont let it interfere with their lives.

Thanks for any answers to that question or other advice anyone can give me.

If I am away from home, except for a few very specific locations (banks, 7-11s), I'm perfectly fine.
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
  • 63 comments
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →
What did you do about this? i'm in the same situation. Exact same. I recently bought a new house with my husband, and i have a little baby boy. I went to our new house around 6:30 ish still somewhat daylight, to take care of some furniture. As soon as i got there, i imagined all different ways in which i could be attacked. I got paranoid. I last 5 minutes and ran out of there. And i sped away like a crazy person. I need help, but can't identify what this is.
You can try hypnotherapy to deal with this phobia. Hypnotherapy is understood to be a very good remedy for this sort of thing. Call a few hypnotherapists in your area and ask them if they have experience working with phobias.

Re: i can relate

Anonymous

7 years ago

Anonymous

August 21 2008, 01:15:23 UTC 8 years ago

I understand what you mean, but its the opposite for me, im fine at home, but if im away from home and alone, im constantly checking everywhere for intruders and I cant think about anything else, I really need some help with it.

I completely understand. I have lived with this every since a man tried to break into my house with a butcher knife. Four of my family members were inside. He was a convicted rapist, and was out on bail for another crime he was accused of. My mother, thank god, saw him from an adjacent window cutting my bedroom screen open and called the cops. (sorry if this increases anyones fears!!!!!!!) Every since then, my agoraphobia has morphed into me not even feeling safe in my own home. At night is when I tend to have the worst/most fear. I have all the classic symptoms. Its hard for me to go out into public- to take out my trash, or check the mail. My boyfriend works late- so I lock myself inside my bedroom until he gets home.
When he went to London for a week I slept on the bathroom floor with the door locked, since I can't sleep alone near windows. I make him call before he even comes inside. I start to hyperventilate if I hear any unexpected doors open.
I just wish I could get help and didn't have to live in constant fear that someone is trying to break in my house and kill me. This sucks. I really don't think anyone could look at me and tell that I have this awful problem. When I do go out in public, I have to drink a few glasses of wine to calm my anxiety. I just cannot wait until the day when I don't have this problem- however, I also fear being helped... because that would mean letting my guard down. Which is yet ANOTHER anxiety of mine. GRRRRR Frustrated!!!! I'll go ahead and post my e-mail if anyone has ANY solution to this. jasminjazz7@hotmail.com

J.
i don't know why this is happening to me but i'm only a kid. its sooo hard to even walk around in my home. i have this fear of someone breaking in and killing me. if they do, i want it to be while i'm sleeping and i want it to be painless.

Re: i have this problem and i'm only 13.

Anonymous

8 years ago

Re: i have this problem and i'm only 13.

Anonymous

8 years ago

Re: i have this problem and i'm only 13.

Anonymous

7 years ago

Re: i have this problem and i'm only 13.

Anonymous

7 years ago

Re: I have the same problem...

Anonymous

8 years ago

Re: I have the same problem...

Anonymous

6 years ago

I completely understand. I have lived with this every since a man tried to break into my house with a butcher knife. Four of my family members were inside. He was a convicted rapist, and was out on bail for another crime he was accused of. My mother, thank god, saw him from an adjacent window cutting my bedroom screen open and called the cops. (sorry if this increases anyones fears!!!!!!!) Every since then, my agoraphobia has morphed into me not even feeling safe in my own home. At night is when I tend to have the worst/most fear. I have all the classic symptoms. Its hard for me to go out into public- to take out my trash, or check the mail. My boyfriend works late- so I lock myself inside my bedroom until he gets home.
When he went to London for a week I slept on the bathroom floor with the door locked, since I can't sleep alone near windows. I make him call before he even comes inside. I start to hyperventilate if I hear any unexpected doors open.
I just wish I could get help and didn't have to live in constant fear that someone is trying to break in my house and kill me. This sucks. I really don't think anyone could look at me and tell that I have this awful problem. When I do go out in public, I have to drink a few glasses of wine to calm my anxiety. I just cannot wait until the day when I don't have this problem- however, I also fear being helped... because that would mean letting my guard down. Which is yet ANOTHER anxiety of mine. GRRRRR Frustrated!!!! I'll go ahead and post my e-mail if anyone has ANY solution to this. jasminjazz7@hotmail.com

J.
I have had this fear of a man coming into my bedroom or house and sneaking up on me to attack me while I am sleeping. I have had this fear ever since I was about 9 or 10 years old ( I am 48 now). The phobia comes and goes away for long periods of time. But recently it has come back full force. My husband is gone for part of the week at night and we don't have a dog. I have been staying awake all night listening to sounds I imagine in my house. I am tired at work the next day. I know on one level that no-one is "probably" in my house, but I can't relax and just go to sleep. I have to "watch" the bedroom door so that no-one sneaks up on me. It's exhausting!
I think I am going to start to take sleeping pills to knock me out, so that I am not staying up all night.
I am experiencing this kind of phobia too. I am in college and going to summer school while living in a one bedroom apartment all by myself. I am now a junior in college.

I think there were two incidents that contributed me to being this scared. At the end of my freshman year, I opened the door to get onto my floor and go to my room. A guy ran through the door and started beating up the cleaning lady that cleaned the bathrooms on my floor. I immediately called 911 and the police came. He fled the scene, but was later found and put in jail. It turns out it was the cleaning lady's ex-husband and he had physically abused her in the past.

This past year I lived on campus again in a different place though. The police called me to ask if my roommate or I had stolen a laptop. The police discovered that a stolen laptop was used in my room through our internet connection. That also really scared me because a guy somehow got access to our locked room to use this stolen laptop.

Re: Afraid of being attacked

Anonymous

8 years ago

Re: Afraid of being attacked

Anonymous

7 years ago

i can relate

Anonymous

June 5 2009, 05:07:52 UTC 8 years ago

well im still a kid and therfore living with my parents they are often gone very late. So i stay awake late at nightbecause im scared to sleep because i fear intruders and i have two cats and they make noises and sometimes scare me and wake me up and im not like really young cause im 14
when i was a teenager a guy came into my room drunk when i was sleeping away from home at a friends house, he didnt do anything to me except 'try to talk' to me and chase me into the bathroom and then try to get the door open, but lately my fear of a man coming and attacking me is really interfering with my life more than ever - i'm petrified and paranoid to be alone and cant fall asleep until my husband comes home too- what do we do?is there any therapeutic methods we can try?

Re: i can relate

Anonymous

7 years ago

Alright. I completely know what you're talking about! My fears also seem to increase lately, and I can't even walk inside from my car at night without running and having chills up my spine. I'm constantly afraid [irrationally, it seems, to others... NOT TO ME!] that someone is going to break into my house and hurt me in some way. I can hardly stand to be home alone at all, and I even call people whenever I'm driving at night so that I feel like someone will know what happened to me whenever my murderer jumps out of the back seat to kill me while I'm driving. I think I seriously have a medical condition. I suppose I should visit a psychiatrist about this all... But I don't see how that could help. Every time I mention that I suspect myself of having some form of paranoia, my mother tells me that there's no possible way that that could be my case....
I am having the same exact problem everyone else is. My mother also said I was a nervous child, and I was cautious and afraid of getting hurt. Now, I'm 24 and am having the worst anxiety of my life. I have noticed a severe increase in my anxiety. Every morning when I get up for work (3am) I find myself trying to be extremely quiet when getting ready in case there is an intruder in my house. I look around every corner, turn on every light, but then turn them back off quickly because I'm then afraid an intruder watching me from outside can now see me. I practically run out to my car in my driveway, and check underneath, and in my back seat to make sure no one is there. I'm so afraid of my car breaking down every morning, because I live in a rural area and take back roads, sometimes I have signal and sometimes I don't. I'm afraid of my car breaking down and having someone come hurt me. I live in fear everyday. I'm better during the day at home, but still have a little anxiety. I've just always thought I was going to die at a young age, of some horribly violent and painful way. On another note I also have a fear of things falling. Which is frustrating because I have not been able to find info on the web about this. For example I don't like unloading my dishwasher because I'm afraid my cabinets aren't going to be able to hold my dishes. Sometimes if I'm having particularly high anxiety I think my bed is going to fall through the floor, or my bathtub is going to fall through the floor. I don't get on swings or balcony's because i'm afraid they are going to fall. So my life is just one big ball of anxiety and I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with everyday life. My doctor put me on an anti-anxiety medicine a month ago and I don't feel like it's working. I'm seeing a therapist right now, and she's a joke, I need to find someone who specializes in phobias and anxiety. Anyone with resources or advice would be greatly appreciated. jhutchinson84@comcast.net
I have the same fear of intruders and also the fear of things falling... i worry that the ceiling above me will fall or the bath tub will go through the ceiling etc... the only thing i have been able to find that sort of relates this this fear is fear of accidents... not sure how to treat it though...
Hi there all. I too suffer from this awful fear of intruders. I stumbled across this website and am so relieved that I am not the only one who suffers from this. It is so hard to explain how this feels to people who do not experience the same thing. Just tonight, my boyfriend was out visiting a friend and I got so paranoid and panicked that somebody was trying to get into my house that I called him and told him to come home straight away as somebody was breaking in. I then had to call a friend until he got home. I have two very protective dogs, but this does not help me feel at ease. People say "if someone was trying to break in, the dogs would go crazy!" I always run different scenarios through my head though when i get panicked (the dogs have been drugged. somebody has hurt the dogs etc) i always justify why my fear could be the truth.
If I am in bed at night, if I start to hear noises, my whole body tenses and I cannot breath. Noises turn into muffled voices and footsteps and scenarios in my head of people plotting to get in.
When my ex and i broke up, i thought i heard noises one night and had to find a spot in my house where I could see all of the doors and stood there for 4 hours on the phone to my friend.
My biggest worry is that somebody will hurt my daughter when they come into my house. Sometimes I get so consumed with thoughts of what could happen, I find myself in tears, as if these things had actually happened. (just reading this back to myself makes me think i sound like a freak!)
I dont mean to write an essay, but it so good to be able to vent all of these thoughts to people who truly understand what it is like and dont think that I am a weirdo or exaggerating. (Im hoping anyway!)
If anybody has previously posted on this thread and has had successful treatment or has any advice that could help, I would be so grateful to hear it! And the same will go if I can find anything, I promise I will share!
Thanks for listening, it feels so much better to just get it out :)
Ive just read all those comments, they're exactly how i feel. Is there a name for it? for the phobia?

Im 18 now and it kind of started a few years back, except it used to be ghost and spirits i was scared of, incase they were in my house. Nowadays i find its more incase somebody breaks into my house, when im there. It became i really big problem in my life at the moment because once its on my mind it doesn't leave until im just too tired to keep my eyes open to carry on thinking about it. ive got a crazy imagination too, and i can totally relate to the person who said about their dogs, how we should feel safe because we know our dogs would bark, although you cant help but think what if somethings happend to the dog? and my body reacts exactly the same too, really tenses up and i find it hard to breathe.
I just dont know if anybody could make me feel safe, unless i lived in a big metal box room with no windows and a million locks on the door that only i could open. but even then i'd be scared incase something was outside.
i just dont know......
I know how you all feel. I have the same fear. Mine comes from actually being attacked in my apartment - so it doesn't help when people say it is an irrational fear because this kind of stuff does happen. And I also don't know how exposure therapy would help considering I would not enjoy being exposed to people jumping me in my own home (not fun - thanks). If we could use logic to help the problem we wouldn't have it in the first place.

I know that this is a serious problem because it really affects my life. What are some solutions?

I don't know if this will be of any help much less if any one is still interested, but the irrational part isn't the part about being attacked because as we can see from some of the other comments shit happens and what would truly be irrational would be trying to convince oneself it doesn't despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary that in fact does. The irrational part comes in thinking that if attacked you wouldn't be able to stand it. When in fact you could stand being attacked as many of your comments attest. I myself was attacked as a child and did for many years live with the fear even as an adult of being attacked/verbally/physically abused until acquiring th understanding I have now, that if attacked/verbally or physically abused it would certainly be perhaps even awful horrible or terrible, but not unbearable - think of the woman attacked by the chimp. The amount of physical pain we can endure wihout exploding is a great deal. If that were not the case, torture would a short matter indeed, which it is not, if television is any indication. Obviously, there are those who were attacked and didn't live to talk about it who no longer have internet access, but my point is that they all died do to injuries sustained in the attack and not the trauma of being attacked. The concern/fear is that the attack itself will be so traumatic as to be unbearable, the trauma itself. So what we all are really afraid of is being traumatized to death, which I'm not sure is a recognized cause of death. People die as a result of the injuries sustained during the attack, not as a result of the trauma per se. If the reverse were the case, then wouldn't the trauma of being sexually abused/raped be just as deadly? What could be more traumatic than being sexually abused or raped? If hundreds of thousands of women and children can stand being raped and abused and overcome their abuse than I should think the same could be said of phyical or verbal abuse. What we fear is in fact the psychological trauma - believing the attack itself will be so traumatic as to be unbearable and we will what - explode? - disintegrate? burst? I hope this comes across in the helpful way in which it is intended. It is the catastrophizing of the attack that is the irrational part. Yes being attacked is really really really bad, but awful means 100% bad, nothing could be worse. The point being that if you or I were to be attacked it would be pretty darn close to awful and very very very difficult to bear, but not impossible. The irrational part is thinking that if attacked you wouldn't be able to stand it, which in fact you would be able to stand it if you chose to do so. We are all more durable than we give ourselves credit for. Even if the worst thing that could possibly happen were to happen, we could still make the best of it, again, think of the woman attacked by the chimpanzee whose face is so disfigured. I leave you with this quote - one of my favorites - from Victor Frankl, survivor of Aushwitz...Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. It is this spiritual freedom which cannot be taken away. [Not by anyone or anything.]and one by maya angelou - I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it - [the choice is up to me.]
Thank you - that makes incredible sense. The fact that an attack is bearable is of immense comfort to me and the idea that it is impossible to bear is the source of my own anxiety. Physical attacks scare me because I feel powerless to deal with them. The language of violence is one I have never negotiated in and so I fear it more than any other attack on my person. When I think about it, the moment I fear absolutely most in an imagined attack is the one before it happens, when I become aware of the threat, and not of the threat realised.
Thank you for your insight, I appreciate it.

Re: fear of being attacked

Anonymous

7 years ago

Reflecting on this issue the last two nights I think I've come up with a better way of explaning it. Imagine a line drawn in the sand (because I can't draw the figure here). At the beginning of the line (to the left) is the the number 0. At the end of the line (to the right) is the number 100. This line represents the degree of bearability of pain and suffering for living beings (i.e. the amount of pain and discomfort they can withstand). Here in lies the irrational component of the fear of anything whether of being attacked, excoriated (skinned alive or the verbal metaphorical equivalent), going splat against the ground, starving to death before lunch is finally served, being embarrassed or bored to death, or choking on a peanut butter sandwich. The irrational component is the fear not of the experience itself per se (people aren't afraid of flying, they're afraid of hitting the ground at so many miles per hour) but the fear of the unbearable pain and suffering they believe will inevitably accompany that experience. But, to refer back to our line in the sand, what we actually fear is irrational in that is not possible for living creatures to experience unbearable pain, because in crossing the threshold from bearable to unbearable they are already dead. (Draw a vertical line just shy of the 100 mark - you can experience only bearable pain lying to the left of this vertical mark - you are not capable of experience unbearable pain which lies to the right of this mark. For unbearable truly means that you cannot survive in the presence of that event, and if that is so, then what you fear is being alive after death and continuing to experience in your dead brain, the stimulation of your dead pain receptors - the doorbell's ringing only nobody's home. Thus it is that the only creatures capable of experiencing truly unbearable vs. that which they tell themselves is or believe to be unbearable but in reality isn't, are immortal beings: vampires, werewolves (are they immortal?) the undead, Zombies, angels and demons - assuming all of these still have bodies with some sort of pain receptors in them, which I'm not sure they do.
Additionally, what we fail to take into account, those of us susceptible to such fears is the remarkable resilience of all living creatures - their ability to survive, adapt, and even thrive in the most difficult of circumstances. YOU CAN AND YOU WILL. Again, take Victor Frankl as an example - he lost EVERYTHING, his wife and family were taken away and killed in concentration camps. His home, his savings, EVERYTHING that could possibly be taken from him was taken, yet he not only survived, but went on to write Man's search for Meaning and develop logotherapy which some might argue is a precursur to modern forms of cogntive therapy. Some might argue that that's just Victor Frankl, that they themselves are made of less stronger stuff. That's Just Bullshit!!! We are all made of the same stuff. We are all (wo)men of steel. It is only our belief otherwise that weakens us, for as a man thinketh so shall he be. Another favorite quote of mine - I've got lots - is by Albert Ellis pertaining to this 'magical'quality of belief - "One of the most distinctive and one might say the most human characteristics of men and women is that what they believe in, they usually accept as truth; what they think they can't change [or do], they can't. But if humans believe they can change [or do something] they almost always can actualize this belief."
No matter what happens you have a choice as to how you will think and therefore feel and behave. Remember, you are not a victim of circumstances, you are their victor - in fact, if not in practice!
I used to have the same problem. And I also have some traits of OCD but I dont actually have it. I used to worry that someone would come into my house and rape or murder me. Now I mostly dont worry, but sometimes I still feel I need to check that there is nothing under the bed or in my wardrobe. When I was younger I would barely eat and I wouldnt eat any foods at all that needed to be swallowed(I was scared I was going to choke). But gradually I started eating again by eating mushy and soft food and then slowly starting to swallow, bit by bit.

I would suggest that you don't watch any creepy tv shows or movies for a while, and stay where you feel most comfortable, than gradually expand your comfort zone. That's just what I did. Taking self-defence classes helped me feel better about my physical ability, and less vuldnerable to attack. Hope this helps.

P.S-I'm 12 years old now, and I get extremely bored during class since everyone else is so far behind, and I don't actually learn much. Right now I need to take soluble tablets to treat an infection, but I can't stand to taste and drinking it makes me gag awfully. I think that my IQ(it's 138) may have something to do with the OCD traits and anxiety. Sorry the paragraphs and sentences are all messed up, but I'm in a hurry.
I am going through the same thing right now even as I am typing this, I think someone is going to come into my house. It's only my dad and I living here and my half brother and sister come every other weekend. I am fine when their here. But, it's usually around the same time every night. I don't go to bed until really late and I freak out. I even had my dad give me a really big knife and sharpen it for me and I keep it in my night stand and I have to go outside to smoke and now I am carrying the knife with me everywhere in the house because I am so terrified of someone being in my house. I kind of don't know where this all started. But I have always been used to alotta family members in my house. And now it's just me and my dad. My dad has guns in his room, but I still don't feel assured. Because I get all these crazy thoughts. I am always checking underneath my bed turning on all the lights before I walk to a different part of the house. Looking over my shoulder, and freaking out over every little noise. I can't fall asleep until around 4:30am and I keep my bedroom light on because that gives me a little bit of assurance. I don't have any other OCD symptoms that I noticed yet. I am looking for self-help things now, that's how I found this.
I live alone with my Dad, too, as my mother passed away last year. I relate to you in that I'm not really afraid when other people stay over.. but otherwise I have phobias of my ex-boyfriend breaking into my house and raping or hurting me.. as he's a bit of a pyscho :( I wish I'd never met him.
Nice to know that other people are going through the same thing. I'm a 22 year old girl and whenever I am left alone at night, I have to have all the lights on, I have to go into every room in the house and check the wardrobes, cupboards, under the bed ect...Everywhere!I think that someone has snuck in whilst I was out and is waiting until I go to sleep to attack me. Every little noise makes my heart race and even walking up the stairs I think that someone is going to grab my legs. I can't sleep with my hand over the mattress as I'm terrified someone is under the bed and will grab me. If I say goodnight to someone in my family a certain way, then I think I've jinxed things and I'm going to die in my sleep. I'm terrified not only of intruders but of something happening to me, like a heart attack and no one being there to help.Its driving me insane! Even when I get in my car I have to check the back seat incase someone is hiding there waiting to attack my when I'm driving. I know that it is unlikely any of this will happen but that doesn't make the fear any less. I really do sympathise will people who have this fear, and so far the only thing I find that helps is waiting until I'm very tired to go to bed, so I'm not lying there for ages listening to noises, sleeping with the cover over me so I can't hear little noises and also a homeopathic remedies work for me most of the time, whether or not its the placebo effect or not I dont know but try either Aconite, Kali Arsenicum or Arsenicum.

overwhelmed

Anonymous

March 6 2010, 04:13:51 UTC 7 years ago

I feel a little better after reading all of your comments, but I still feel like my rituals are so deeply ingrained that it will take forever to get rid of.

It started when I was 5 years old - I was sexually abused by the upstairs neighbor for years and he always came at night. Of course, I developed many ways that, in my mind, would keep him away. For example, I have to hold pieces of my quilt in a certain way between my fingers but if it doesn't feel right, something terrible will happen. There are MANY other rituals I do at night but that would take forever to list!

But lately I have had new obsessive thoughts about someone attacking and raping me on my way to my car no matter where I am or what time of day it is. When I go into rooms (doctor or therapy) I get extremely anxious that an intruder will walk into the room with a gun and attack me and the doctor. I even get thoughts that men with guns will come into my place of work, which is on a college campus, and hold up the whole place. I know that these thoughts are completely irrational but I can't stop them. I've tried distracting myself, I am in therapy, and I've been on anti-depressants for years but it just keeps getting worse.

Any way...sorry for the long post but any advice would help!
Tonight I Googled "fear of being attacked" and found this blog. It's a relief to know I'm not alone. I do not feel my fear is OCD related, but rather just a very strong feeling that an attack/rape is imminent. I have felt this way for as long as I can remember, although I have no grounds or experience to give reason it.

Currently, I live in Kansas City, Mo., and in the last six months, there have been five rapes in a single neighborhood. This has only escalated my fear, and although I've taken several self defense classes, I cannot find peace. And knowing my windows and doors are locked are of little comfort.

I am a Christian and have memorized several verses and a couple of chapters related to fear and God's protection. It helps, but not enough. This morning while getting ready for work in the predawn hours, I heard a noise that terrified me so much I called the police. My husband and I have rigged our garage so that if anyone tried to break in from there we'd hear a loud crashing noise. This morning I was home alone and heard "the" loud crashing noise I have dreaded. I was already locked in the bathroom with my cell phone (a normal routine). I grabbed my phone immediately and in the three seconds that it took me to process the noise and decide I needed to call 911, my fine motor movements went out the window. I couldn't dial 911 properly. It took me a couple of tries. When I tried to give my address, my voice locked up. I was simply panic stricken. All I could do was clutch my phone and listen for more noises. In my head I imagined all sorts of horrible things. And I was trapped in my bathroom with no way out.

It took the police about 12 minutes to finally get to my home. By that point I was sweating profusely, shaking and crying uncontrollably. They searched in and around my home and found nothing. It was determined my cats were to blame.

Imagine how humiliated I felt. Earlier, while locked in the bathroom, I had a thought in the very back of my head that it was probably my cats, but my fear was so strong and real and immediate that in those three seconds before I dialed 911, I truly thought my life and/or safety was in immediate danger.

I read the comment posted earlier about us fearing the "experience" of an attack, rather than pain -- or something like that. I would agree for the most part with that sentiment, however now that I know how my body will physically react when "truly" (or so I thought) threatened, I have little faith that I would be of much help to myself. The verses I had memorized were the farthest thing from my mind. I didn't realize until much later that I failed to call on them for strength.

In the self defense classes I've taken, I was taught strength is a mind set. Power comes from the mind. We CAN fight and SUCCEED. We will get hurt in the process, but when faced with death, injury has its appeal. Prior to this morning, in my head I felt tough. I felt strong. I thought I could think clearly and act appropriately when confronted with a threatening situation. I feel like today was a test run. And I failed.

I want women to feel empowered. I want us to know our own strength. I want to know MY own strength.... Perhaps it does come down to training, but I know I wouldn't voluntarily go through the stress I went through this morning to "prepare" for the attack I never want to happen.

I would be very open to your thoughts. Although I don't want to leave my email, I plan to revisit this blog and check for comments.

There's strength in numbers. You all have encouraged me. Thank you.
I am 14 and I also have a problem similar to these which started a couple of days ago when I had this dream of being kidnapped and ever since it has been bugging me and I cannot go anywhere without thinking about it, I've started looking at self defence online just In case it does happen.

hey

Anonymous

April 7 2010, 01:46:10 UTC 7 years ago

i have always had this problem since i was a teen and im 27 now and its like someone said in a previous comment it started with thinking ghosts or something were in my home and now i freak out that someone will try to break in and hurt my children, i have 3 by the way. i always go over what would i do if it did happen what would i do with my kids what escape routes could i use

Anonymous

May 2 2010, 21:41:39 UTC 7 years ago

I can relate to everyone's post here.

I think what we are talking about is a "specific phobia".

I have looked at an on-line book store and there are plenty of books about understanding and overcoming phobias.

I think reading a book about our "condition" and about possible types of "treatment" would be beneficial. Then we could choose the best course of treatment for us, start it and get over this thing.

For anyone who isn't keen on reading - go to your doctor, tell him your symptoms and see what he recommends.

I've just bought my book so wish me luck!

Good luck to all of you - we can get over this.






Hey all, I also have the same problem. I am a 19 year old man well built and am by no means afraid of much or anything, but when it comes to this something just ticks when I am by myself in the house or in my room at night and my heart just starts pounding. It not only does this for fear of my being attacked, but also just the thought of somemone in the house who could hurt my family. I am at ground level with a large window which does'nt really help my cause lol. I make a nightly trip through my large dark basement to the washroom, where a light switch is not close on the way just waiting to either be attacked or get attacked once i re-enter my room. This has been going on for over 10 years and nothing has happened. I would really like to know what type of therapist i should go looking for, if any?

Appreciate it, thanks!

Anonymous

May 5 2010, 16:07:23 UTC 7 years ago

I tell myself how ridiculous I'm being daily but apparently I'm not, not really, just that's how my mind is now programmed.

What we're possibly doing is resisting the emotion of fear. It feels safer to be fearful but that's only because up till now, that's worked for us, kept us safe.

What if we accept that emotion and just go with it?

An emotion lasts 90 seconds, that's it, not long is it? It's an awful lot longer than 90 seconds if we don't accept it and resist.

Liken it to going to the dentist versus having toothache. We know the dentist will fix the problem but it'll be a few minutes of pain.
Toothache can last for weeks.

What I've been encouraged to do is to get myself into a real state of fear and hold out for 90 seconds. It's not a great feeling I have to admit but at the end of the 90 seconds, I'm OK, nothing bad has happened and that anxiety is seriously reduced.

The problem (for me and I expect many of you) is not knowing what I would do if the worst happened and my fears were realised? What's my plan? How would I deal with that situation? Once I start thinking about that, the worst part of the fear fades. Sounds logical to me, can't believe I didn't think of it myself and it's cost me hundreds to get someone else to tell me!

Really hope this helps someone - it's a rough situation made worse by the fact you think no one else understands.
I read somewhere (may have been one your posts thanks) that people can ask the police to come round and do a free security check. I contacted the police and they sent a Neighbourhood Warden round. She has just installed all kinds of security devices for free. She was a really lovely lady.

I am also reading "Coping with fears and phobias" by Warren Mansell and would highly recommend it.
I've been living with this for many years. Reading your posts I found several similarities. I too am very logical (not at all prone to flights of fancy), above average IQ, with traces of OCD, and have control issues, the latter being, I think, the source of my problem. I've tried:
-Reasoning it away, telling myself it's/I'm stupid, but it happens to so many.
-Arming myself, but he/they can use it to hurt/kill me.
-Shutting/barricading myself in, but then I can't hear he/them coming.
-Closing my eyes and imagining it, realising the fear of fear and pain is worse than the actual thing, but my imagination is limited.
-Giving it over to the Powers, what has to be will be, but what if this feeling is a warning from Them.
Then a situation arose, my brother was away, and I was starting a new job the next day. I just decided enough of this childish nonsense, I am locking the house up, switching off the lights and going to sleep, if they're coming, let them! I was just dozing off when I heard my door handle pulled all the way down. My handle makes a very distinct sound, and since it sticks, no one pulls it all the way down. Only someone who doesn't know that, would try. I spend the night in my bathroom petrified, with my celphone, maze and a knife, resisting to cry, cause then I can be heard. Next morning, nothing. On a second try, also while dozing off, I heard my name whispered in my ear. So when my conscious mind decides it ends here, my sub-conscious actually makes stuff up!! Ridiculous!! How am I supposed to fight that?? A few months ago I broke my arm and my foot, making it impossible for me to run even if something happened. Since then I can't sleep at all, even with people in the house, straining every part of my body to listen for sounds. And since sleep is the way to keep your mind sharp, it just gets worse and worse. It also interferes with the healing process, making me more anxious. I'm down to 3-4 hours around midday. I have, however, noticed that the more I feel out of control of my life, the worse it gets. Starting a new job, unhappy at work or in a relationship, laying in bed with injuries, stuff that would usually keep one awake at night, so my plan is to suffer this until I'm healed and take control back, it's not a permanent solution, but it's all I can think of...
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →