ttssmf1989 (ttssmf1989) wrote in allphobias,

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I'm not sure if some of my phobia's have names.
I'm Bipolar and I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Some of the phobias I have are induced by my O.C.D.

I'm afraid of typing, writing or saying something incorrectly.
What I mean is using correct grammar, punctuation, spelling, meaning, and explaing myself throughly.
If I don't do everything correctly, I become very agitated and I do it over as many times as it takes for me to do it right.
I use the dictionary and thesaurus more than I use the toilet. Seriously. I carry pocket sized editions with me and I buy a new one evry year because each year more and more words are added and I never want to come across a word a not know what it is. That scares me.
I guess you could call that a fear of imperfection to a certain degree.

I'm afraid of dying because I don't know what happens after I die. I agonize over death constantly wondering when I'm going to die, how I'll die, will it be painful, will people care, how will I be remembered, et cetera. I spend every waking moment alert, checking around me, calling out to make sure no one is trying to break in my house and harm me, listening to the house creak and the foundation settle and wondering if it's someone trying to get me. I even get scared when the mailman puts our mail through the door because it sounds like someone is trying to force open the door.

I'm also afraid of: walking on grates on the sidewalk, dark places, being somehwhere that is completely quiet, falling from high places, paranormal activity, choking, confined spaces, corpses, densely crowded areas [cafeterias, stores, clubs,malls, airports, et cetera.], contamination or infection, dryness, looking into peoples eyes or having them look into mine, frogs, imperfection, falling in love, certain names of people, rape [I have been, a few times.], people staring at me, and being overweight.

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